I couldn’t think of anything noteworthy to mention about my week or weekend for that matter, so if you are reading this, consider yourself Tagged!  Although I might take the time to officially tag a few people anyway.  This was fun, it will let you get to know me a bit, and hopefully, if you take the time, it will help me get to know you a bit too.

Ok…here it is…

My top ten simple pleasures

1. Singing
2. Writing something and getting that feeling somewhere in the middle that it just might be really, really good.
3. A satisfying, tasty meal complete with dessert.
4. A beautiful or thought provoking work of art.
5. Beautiful or thought provoking music.
6. Meditating or soul journeying.
7. A certain Divinyls songs comes to mind…
8. Reading a good book.
9. Taking myself out to a movie…its fun with other people, but for some reason, I get more pleasure out of it alone.
10. When it’s by choice, just being alone with my thoughts.

My Top Five Tear Jerker Moments in Books and Movies

Books

1. River, Cross My Heart by Breena Clarke:  When Johnnie May’s aunt talks about the pain of loss when her husband dies, its one of the most beautiful, spiritual, and realistic passages about how one who is left behind feels, and eventually moves on.
2. Peachtree Road by Anne Rivers Siddons:  When Shepard sees his highschool sweetheart, Sarah, for the first time after they had broken up and she is married to someone else and they hug one another in greeting, there is this killer moment when the character says how that “space between neck and shoulder was carved for her face.” 
3. A Separate Peace by John Knowles:  When Gene confesses to Finny that for a split second he hated him and shook the branch Finny stood on as he was preparing to dive into the water, and that’s why Finny is crippled.  The betrayal was staggering.  It’s the only John Knowles book I like.
4. Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller:  I know, a strange book to have a tear-jerker moment with, but there is this part near the end where Henry is in Paris and talks about how much he misses his wife.  He goes to this fountain where they walked together when she was with him there, and touches the place on the fountain where her foot rested as she got a pebble out of her shoe.  He breaks down and cries and rests his face against that place.  You can completely feel his longing.
5. Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence:  Gerald and Rupert are the best of friends and each develops a relationship with a woman:  Ursula (Rupert) and Gundrun (Gerald.)  Gerald and Rupert have feelings for each other as well, and when Rupert makes an entreaty to him to explore this love, he is violently spurned, leaving both men feeling heart broken and betrayed.  It’s a moving and painful moment.

Movies

1. What Dreams May Come:  When Robin Williams goes to hell to save his wife after she commits suicide, and then she saves him right back when he starts to give into madness.  Then they reunite with their family and decide to take another go at life.  The whole last fifteen minutes, I’m pretty much a mess.
2. Armageddon:  Ok, cheesy movie, but when Bruce Willis sends his daughters fiancé back to her and he makes this speech to her via a video connection about how he’s not going to make it back to her and it’s “the only promise I won’t be able to keep to you” I just bawled.
3. The Horse Whisperer:  When the daughter rides her horse for the first time after they both got hit by a vehicle, Kleenex city.
4. Frida:  When Frida Kahlo miscarried her baby in Detroit and begins to create a painting about that harrowing experience.  She is my favorite painter anyway and has been a muse and icon for me.  She suffered so much in her life, and still gave her life to art and for the betterment of Mexico.
5. Rudy:  When he finally gets to go out on the field, and they carry him off on their shoulders…WAAAAH!!!

If you had one more day

If you had one more day with someone who is gone…who would it be …what would you do…

I couldn’t think of anything but I found the question intriguing, one I had thought on before.  This was off Nanablue2004′s blog so give her a shout out if you decide to take up the question yourself.

With someone who has passed:  My Grandmother, Ruth Morrison

She was an incredible Irish lady with an Irish temper to match.  She was an artist with souls, having a natural ability to bring out the best in the people whose lives she touched.  Grandma helped raise up when my mother was down on her luck after she threw out my biological father.  Every week, she asked my mother for $25 in exchange for babysitting and feeding us.  My mother was angry, demanding to know why she should have to pay her to watch her own grandchildren.  But Grandma was insistent, and knowing she couldn’t find cheaper daycare elsewhere, Mom finally agreed.  When it came time to buy school clothes that year, as it turned out, Grandma had put all those $25 payments in a box under her bed and bought all clothes and school supplies.  I still remember what it felt like to finally have a shiny new Trapper Keeper and a pair of blue jeans just like the other kids.  I never really appreciated how great a hand she hand in raising me until I was older.  I always meant to tell her that I did notice how much she had sacrificed for my sister and my mom and me but there were stories to be told, fudge to make, and card games to play.  I hope she knows it now somehow.  But still, it would be nice to tell her.

With someone who hasn’t passed:  On a less sentimental note, there was this boy I dated in highschool who was absolutely beautiful, wild, rebellious, and smart as hell.  Carl, my first love…wrestler, black hair, hazel eyes…in other words, my mom’s basic nightmare.  Sure would love to see what happened to him.  He’s more of a go-back-in-time than a one more day sort of thing I guess…I would have said yes …you figure it out…

GoJake has been doing a great job giving me things to write about lately.

And Jesus Sings

I wasn’t sure what to expect
as the savior of the world
cleared his throat and stood
behind the microphone.

His throaty voice surprised me,
deep, resonant and baritone
not at all like the angelic tenor
I imagined he would be.

I smiled as he sang “Sweet Caroline,
good times never felt so good.”
And I did feel good, seeing him
this close, this human, this happy.

I asked if he wanted a drink
and he smiled and shook his head.
He did lean over and take one of my cheesy fries
and his face was pure bliss as he chewed it.

I felt shy when it was my turn to sing.
I leaned in to Jake and whispered the name
of a different song, one more befitting.
She winked and changed the disk.

Familiar and warm chords
filled the crowded bar with a
beautiful kind of melancholy.
I lifted my heart and voice like a prayer.

“What the world needs now,
Is love, sweet love,” and suddenly
my voice was as smoky and sad
as my surroundings.

People stopped their chatter
and leaned towards me at
the edge of their chairs,
listening for the first time all night.

I sang for the broken-hearted,
the love-lorn, the misplaced souls,
and for those who had been lonely
for way too long.

And Jesus wept.

Ok…NOW I think its done.  Tell me if you think otherwise.
Janette

I read GoJake’s blog today and found myself inspired by her sharing of her body issues.  I think too often, women especially are taught that they need to hate their bodies instead of reveling in their inherent beauty.  We are taught that there is a mold we are to fit.  Skinny girls are told they need to have larger breasts.  Thick girls are told that they can’t be happy until they are thin.  All too often, the world as a whole buys that hype.

This poem is in praise of my body.  From now on, I will love it and use it in any way I can.  I will not feel ugly because I am not built like a 12 year old boy.  I will not look with disdain at the parts that are lumpy.  I will revel in its beauty and utter uniqueness.  I will treat it like the creation and wonder that it is.  I will see it as another expression of the Goddess.

Just Now a Mirror Lies

I paused before the glass naked

and celebrated this moment in the presence

of Gaia, the earth mother.

Her breasts hung before me

and I picked them up like ripe pears

feeling their meaty weight in my hands.

Her round full belly hung like a path

leading to the gate of the universe.

Her hand cupped the vagina like

a teasing Venus in repose.

Her feet were planted in the earth

and the roots reached into the

ground, wrapping themselves around

the crystal at the world’s center.

Her legs were Solomon’s dream,

thick like the cedars of Lebanon,

muscled and round with hips

that could birth a mighty nation.

This was the Goddess and she was me.

Hi all.  While browsing post on my favorite blogring “Grown Ups…” I came across a topic that was interesting so I thought, what the hell, I’m game.  Anyway, if you haven’t had a chance to check out yesterday’s post, go ahead and take a look-see since I’m still gathering opinions before I do a final draft.

Okay…here’s the topic

Featured Grownups Topic: A Letter of Closure

Everyone has things happen in life where they long for closure; these can be happy, sad, tragic, imaginary/fantasy, cerebal… your choice

Write a letter of closure to someone, something, sometime

Dear Gabriel,

It has been 12 years since I have seen you.  It makes me sad when I think of the time, energy, and tears I wasted in trying to have a relationship with you.  Growing up, mother used to say that you didn’t care a thing about me, that the only thing you’ve ever loved is yourself.  I didn’t want it to be true.  I wanted to think there was a part of you that could feel something for me, your oldest daughter.

What you took away from me, the Universe gave back to me three-fold.  I wanted a loving father who was both a hero and a friend.  I found that and more in my stepfather.  He is what a real Dad should be.  I wanted someone to take pride in what I did and praise me for my accomplishments.  My grandparents never missed a choir sing, band concert, girlscouts banquet, play, musical, or poetry reading.  I wanted an advocate and a confidante.  My sister and mother have stood up for me, held my hand, dried my tears, and kept my secrets.  I wanted a man to put his arms around me and tell me everything was going to be alright.  Garth is not just a husband, but a best friend, not only when things are easy, but also when things are tough like they are right now.  I wanted someone to shine light on my path when I lost my way.  I have beautiful and special friends who love me and want what is best for me, even when it means telling me something that I don’t want to hear. 

It has taken me a long time to realize this, but the void you left behind has long since been filled.  After many years of silence, I called you 12 years ago with an invitation to be in my life.  We talked for a long time and I gave you my phone number and email address.  You made a choice to be silent.  While I would never turn you away should you appear, I have moved on.  I have found my way.  Others have done what you could not and have stepped in to fill in the gap. 

I am not sure what you are looking for, but I hope you find it.  I know I have.  Fare thee well, and fare me well.  I release you with love.

Janette

I can’t remember the last time I wrote a song.  It was probably almost four years ago, the summer before I got married.  I wrote a song for my husband that I sang on our wedding day.  I sang the melody and recorded it, sending the tape and the lyrics to my Uncle Rod.  His guitar accompaniment was beautiful and simple, and his playing elevated and accentuated what was already a pretty little tune. 

Times change.  My  husband and I are on unsure ground.  While the love is there, our footing is uncertain and the future not quite clear.  I am not sure if I like these lyrics, but its what I felt at the time.  A melody is already floating around in my head.  Tell me what you think, and be harsh if its not good.  After all, there is no sense in wasting a good tune on a bad lyric. 

Ta ta for now,

Janette

Robbing Peter

Verse

When the eagle flew last Friday,
There was a pink slip in its wings
and my life stretched out behind me
as I began to consider things.

When the world has knocked me down before
I’ve always hung on to my pride.
But lately everything’s a struggle
I want to just give up and cry

Chorus

I’m on the wrong side of the 8-ball
I’ve never had the Midas touch.
I need love and peace and safety,
Am I asking for too much?

It seems like every time I lose,
I lose it all.
I’m forever robbing Peter,
but not quite paying Paul.

Verse

Did I make one mistake too many?
Did you keep one promise too few?
I felt that luck was finally on my side
The first time I held you.

We gambled all on everlasting love
but were we dealt a losing hand?
We lost our way back to each other,
this pain is more than I can stand.
(Repeat Chorus)

Verse

Can you reach your heart out to me
and find somewhere a common ground?
I don’t want to lose the best friend
in this world that I have found.

Let’s turn our eyes towards our tomorrow,
forget the hurts of yesterday.
We can make it work together,
there has got to be a way.
(Repeat Chorus)

 “Taken from “The Daily Spell, Sep. 7, 2006″
Pagan Awareness Day
All practitioners of Earth religions, Wicca, Shamanism, Druidry etc, are being encouraged to wear a purple ribbon as a way of promoting religious tolerance and to potentially raise awareness: On Sept. 21st to 22nd all Witches are going to wear little purple ribbons so everyone will know Who Else is a witch/wiccan/ pagan/… . But no one can do this if they don’t know about it, so pass the word along! This message goes to all Witches, Wiccans, Pagans from all sorts of traditions. We can make a day for ourselves!! Actually, two days!!! You can buy a purple ribbon anywhere, Dollar store, Wal-Mart, shoppers Drug Mart, anywhere…Wear it in your Hair, or pin it up to your shirt. Make it public!!! My thoughts: To alert that we are Pagans, Wiccans, Druids..etc. .. tie a note on the end or label it “Fight Religious Discrimination” Mine will say that….PASS THIS ALONG!!!! to every one and to EVERY group!!!!”

Having an unusual taste in religion myself, and tending to have many friends who do as well, I thought this might be of interest.

Besides, it gives me time to post something on an otherwise un-postworthy day. 

Well, to answer the general “where you been and what you’ve been up to”, as Gilbert and Sullivan would say in their operatta “The Mikado”….I’ve got a little list.

1.  Working full time at the bank still.  Nothing new to report there

2.  Going to school full time.  Carlow University.  Professional Writing Major…YAY!!  I love it!  Its a hybrid major between journalism and business writing.  I think I enjoy the grant writing classes the most.  What a tremendous way to use my creativity AND do something positive for the world.  I think I may have figured out what I want to be when I grow up…at 33 years old!

3.  Sadly, my husband and I lost his grandmother this spring.  She was 90 years old and died of cancer.  My husband was very close to her and still hasn’t really recovered from her passing.

4.  I’ve been exploring spiritually and I am “labeling” myself a mystic.  I have adopted a mantra of “all religions and spiritual programs have an element of truth…I shall take what works for me and leave the rest.”

5.  My husband and I are going through some growing pains.  At this time, we are not cohabitating, but I am hopeful that we will reconcile.  We have begun marriage counseling and I feel 100% confident that things will work themselves out and we will be stronger and more in love than ever.

So that’s why I’ve been such a busy gal lately and not in the Xanga loop, but it looks like now that things are somewhat more settled, I’ll be able to read, post, and visit more often.  Maybe I’ll finally write a little poetry…I’ve had a dry spell since February.

Talk soon,

Janette 

Anyone remember me?  I don’t even know where to begin.  Too much time has gone by just to do a general, ok, this will catch you up sort of email, so I will entertain questions.  Ask me anything, and I’ll answer.

Janette