September 11, 2005

  • I am sorry, beloved,
    that I am not a Stepford Wife,
    immaculately groomed,
    perfectly trim, long flowing
    blonde hair cascading in
    chaste waves to my
    pretty round pink ass.


    I am sorry, beloved,
    that I was not cloned from
    Donna Reed or June Cleaver.
    I cannot sew, make quiche,
    properly light a cigar, or laugh
    at jokes I think are infantile.
    I do not possess that X chromosome.


    I am sorry, beloved,
    that I am not a puppet or robot.
    My brain was programmed wrong,
    my wiring is all screwed up,
    no matter how I try,
    I don’t take orders well
    and I often think for myself.


    I am sorry, beloved,
    that I blackened your eye.
    My dear, I didn’t realize
    you were standing on
    the sidewalk below
    when I tossed your suitcase
    out of the window.


    I guess I’ll never learn.

Comments (5)

  • I couldn’t help laughing inside reading this. It has a British humor edge to it. However, don’t forget that Donna Reed played the part of a bargirl in “From Here to Eternity” as I recall, before she married Mr. Cleaver.

  • I also laughed inside. Who would want a “perfect” mate anyway? Perfection is boring as hell.

    You should come over and watch a romantic comedy.. with zombies. :D

  • I absolutely LOVED reading this. It has an “In your face” fantastic fighting back attitude. By the way, he doesn’t sound like a person worth having.

  • FOMCLMAO!!! ((SERIOUS APPLAUSE HERE))

    BRAVA! BRAVISSIMA!!! I loved that twist. That was just brilliant!

    YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY THE

    |^^^^^^^^^^^^|
    |BEAUTIFUL TRUCK | ‘|”"”;.., ___.
    |_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
    “(@ )’(@ )”"”"*|(@ )(@ )*****(@
     

    Try to pass it on to at least 8 people–but no matter You are BEAUTIFUL through and through.

  • LOL Brilliant! Reminds me of the strength I get when listening to Madonna’s Express Yourself.

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