November 13, 2005
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A Stream of Consciousness
It seems cruel that the mind tarries beyond the point of time that our bodies can sustain us. Her mind is sharp and she knows that she is dying. She longs for it one moment, and shudders away from it the next. And those of us around her want the suffering to end but do not want to lose her. There are so many unanswered questions, so many old fights that you want to resolve but never will.
I see her children and grandchildren struggle with the words on their tongues, which ones to spew and which ones to swallow. It is too late to say, You hurt me, You never understood me, You never let us know each other in the way that we could have. There is always time for love and comfort, but a statute of limitations on anguish and regret.
Comments (6)
I’m constantly amazed at how you can harness pure emotions so perfectly. Good luck curing a pack rat, seems to me they only replace the stuff they throw away three fold….so it might be better to try to curb anything new instead of discarding the old. <G>
Boy, that is powerful. Good writing.
Dying is very misunderstood…
and not very accurate..
but thats just my take on it…
be very present with her….
“It is too late to say, You hurt me, You never understood me, You never let us know each other in the way that we could have.”
identification with the past…yes
let it go……………..
I’m sorry, hard time, one never knows the right words.
Good to see you back , Jan.
Peace and Love:)
Good Morning. Looking forward to reading moreof your work.
So true. I’m so sorry for what you & your family are going through. I went through that with my Grandmother.