May 2, 2007
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If I only knew…
This was a Featured Grownups topic. I don’t always get to all of them, but this one intrigued me.
If I knew then what I know now
1. I had a particularly tumultuous six-year manipulationship from ages 19 through 25. I wish I would have known then that overweight girls ARE beautiful, loveable, and valued by the right man. Another lesson that I have since learned from that difficult era was that my life is made up of so much more than my romantic relationships and that good sex is not equal to good love.
2. I would have taken more chances. My mother was a fundamentalist Christian who was afraid of everything and everyone. She would have these “prophetic visions” of me coming to a “bad end” if I did anything or hung out with anyone that she didn’t approve of. I was afraid of these dreams until my late teens/early twenties. I finally started taking chances and I realized two things: bad things do not happen when you have a little fun and my mom’s visions were full of hooey. But I sure have had fun making up for lost time…
3. I would have stood up for myself more and learned how to say “no” with love for the other person and respect for myself. The people that really matter won’t need you to please them 100% of the time.
So, that’s my list. As time goes on, I have fewer and fewer regrets. The things that have/haven’t happened to me did or did not happen for a reason. The things that I have done and haven’t done are what have shaped me into the person I am now, and I really like me.
Comments (10)
Nice post!
Lovely and true. Weight is not an indicator of worthiness of love and all women should be reminded of that. Outward beauty and mainstream sex appeal is not indicative of a worthy mate either and men should be reminded of that.
Thank you for sharing.
Good job! I agree with the weight deal—I have gained quite a bit in the last few years, but I’m the same person!
isn’t hindsight 20’20…ahh…but we would not be where we are now if’n we knew what we know now…Smile
Especially #3–boundaries are so important–and hard for all of us to maintain!
A manipulationship is never a good thing. I’m glad you got out of that.
I think you are great and have a nice outlook that has been shaped by what you have learned. Happy trails.
mom, even though doing what she thought was best, had ripple effects through time
I could have co written numbers one and three with you…….it feels so good to be on the other side of these situations.
Tomesara.
My aunt used to have messages from God, so I understand a little of what you may have gone through. Taking chances is a good thing. A good entry for this challenge!